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For some months after the A levels, I did a short stint as a waitress in some middle range restaurant. It’s the kind of restaurant that exists in high end places yet remains cheap enough for one to see people from the lower end of the middle class. Therefore you can say within that short period of time, I’ve seen a huge range of people. They could be fat, short, ugly, beautiful, shapely, stingy, generous and kind. Some were a pleasure to serve while others treated us waiters and waitresses as temporary servants. I even had to clean up baby vomit a few times. However, all that came by our doors did not form a great enough impression on my mind unlike a certain baby. He was barely a year old, Caucasian most likely, after all his mother was an American, but he had black hair. The thing about this little baby was that from the very beginning of his stay at the restaurant till the end, he wanted to grab my hand. No one else’s hand, he only wanted mine. Not only this, when he did catch hold of my hand, his strong grip surprised me. It was not as strong as an adult’s grip, but neither was it very soft. There was determination in that grip, a strong conviction to get something he wanted. He got it. At this point, this little tyke who had more strength in him than he seemed to have, gave an epiphany. He made me realise something I had lost a long time ago, what most of us growing adults have lost a long time ago. Something that only exists when there is a single determination: to know what one wants, and what one has to do to get it. And to never let go of the goal. We are all born with our little hands balled into a grip. We hold on tightly to what we want. With no complex thoughts an adult possess, a baby would have simple wants and needs and will act to fulfil these desires. But as we grow older, other needs and desires arise. With time and new desires comes new choices. Together, we get ourselves embroiled in the complicated matters of everyday life. As time flows on, we slowly lose the strong grip that was in our hands from birth. Is that a sign showing that we are slowly losing ourselves? Are we gradually losing our goal? I do not know if it is really a sign from heaven a wakeup call from nowhere, but it struck me hard. We are too busy living or taking our lives for granted that we lose sight of what we truly want to do. I guess that is why some people are successful and so many of us are still hanging around clueless and careless. Suan Yip Ling is presently a fresh JC graduate and an aspiring NTU ADM student. Waiting for her application results, she is currently relief teaching History at a local secondary school. Amongst her interests are reading, writing and filming. Living by the mantra, “Just do it,” She hopes that one day she can affect the world through pictures and words. | 
